Last night’s TV
BBC's Masterchef continues to plumb new depths. In last night's episode, producers were forced to apologise after completely forgetting the food. It was a 30-minute testosterone fest of contestants telling us how much they wanted to win it, and how much they were up for it - but where was the nosh?
Cryogenic freezing prolongs Noel Edmonds career
Scientists have revealed that the secret to Noel Edmonds' enduring youth is that he is cryogenically frozen after every programme he records. Edmonds, whose real age is 215, decided to embark on the ambitious life-prolonging freezing schedule shortly after Swapshop ended in the early 1980s.
Jonathan Ross resigns over plans for public flogging
Jonathan Ross has resigned from the BBC claiming that he was "uncomfortable" with the BBC's plans to flog him in public on the streets of Britain. The show, suggested by BBC's head of programming Alan Underarm-West, would have seen a half-naked Ross pulling a cart full of manure through some of Britain's most crowded town...
Last night’s TV – 23rd December
You can always trust BBC3 to come up with something new and innovative, and that's exactly what they've done with Shitwatch, hosted by Bill Oddie and Melinda Messenger. Last night's startling episode followed a family of 5 whose defecation rituals were an absolute hoot.
Last man in UK not to appear on reality TV clings on
Alfred Azalea-Sprouts is a man who has shied away from the glare of publicity all his life. Unfortunately for him, he has become famous as the last person in the UK never to have appeared on reality TV. Bookmakers have been taking bets on which reality TV show he will finally appear on, with "Come...
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