Hi America. Have you prepared your concrete bunkers yet? For there is a new threat and it is worse than anything else, we know because we saw it on Fox News. It’s called Al Jazeera.
Yes, America, Al Jazeera is …
Cats have joined forces to encourage people to stop using the word “pussy” as it has negative connotations for the feline world. “Actually, we’re quite tough”, said Mr Tiddles, spokesman for FUDGE, the Feline Understanding Democratic Group of Europe.
Senior terrorists have claimed that the worsening situation in Yemen is “making it really difficult to find cheap tickets”. Budget airlines are now hiking up their prices, meaning that the burgeoning terrorist industry is forced to seek other means of transport.
Al-Qaeda officials have raised the terror level threat in Great Britain to “thinking about it”, causing junior terrorists to fly into a panic. The level was raised after Mustafa Jihad, Al-Qaeda’s Chief Financial Officer, declared that the organisation would be “looking at diversifying into new terrorist avenues”.