Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Nigeria’s seventh annual “Scammies” awards took place last night in Lagos, with the great and the good taking part in a lavish spectacle which rewarded Nigeria’s best scammers for their hard work and innovation. Host Billy Crystal told a rapturous audience that “hosting the Scammies is a dream come true – I’ve only paid £5,000 for the privilege….. so far!”
Residents of Maidenhead have been warned to be “on their guard” after reports of a bogus Carol Vorderman were made to police. The woman, purporting to be the brainy maths millionnaire, is believed to be hawking insurance and credit cards.
A senior cardinal has admitted that last week’s attack on the Pope was a staged “insurance scam”, prepared for meticulously by Pope Benedict himself. Cardinal Stronzo di Natale of Genoa said that he was approached by the Pope’s henchman last week to play a part in the prepared scenario which would net the pontiff several thousand pounds in insurance claims.
A Nigerian internet scammer has managed to scam himself out of over £5,000. Winston M’Bahh, a serial scammer, said that he was “extremely embarrassed” and was unsure of how he was ever going to be able to live this one down. “I’m usually so careful”, said M’Bahh. “But it’s been such a good year, I’ve had scams going on all over the world. Unfortunately, it turns out that I was scamming myself for a large part of it, and I didn’t even realise.”
William Hague admits YMCA stay ill-judged
BBC Breakfast viewer in critical condition
Tour operator Bazzo’s Holidays 4 U collapses, leaves holidaymakers stranded
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Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
