Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Cheapo airline Ryanair has caused a storm once more with news that it intends to compensate passengers stranded in Europe due to the volcanic ash cloud, with “a hearty handshake”.
Senior terrorists have claimed that the worsening situation in Yemen is “making it really difficult to find cheap tickets”. Budget airlines are now hiking up their prices, meaning that the burgeoning terrorist industry is forced to seek other means of transport.
Budget flight operator Ryanair is coming in for fresh criticism from industry watchdogs over its plans to overhaul its new charges structure and introduce a new set of fees to supplement their low air fares. Flights will still be sold at tuppence ha’penny, but passengers could be stung for a whole range of extras, including a £5 tax on all ginger people.
William Hague admits YMCA stay ill-judged
BBC Breakfast viewer in critical condition
Tour operator Bazzo’s Holidays 4 U collapses, leaves holidaymakers stranded
Dirty Stones have no complaints over Naomi Campbell gift
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
