Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Yesterday’s grudge match between Shytte Rovers and Oxminster Acne ended 0-0 as all 22 players refused to acknowledge each other. A string of feuds and rivalries spilled over into a bitch-fest of blanking and pretending not to notice each other.
A Shytte-on-Sea resident has won control of Portsmouth Football Club after a game of cards “got out of control” at the Dog and Disco pub last night. He says that he will give “110%” to the club despite his limited finances.
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
Cameron condemns creator of Siobhan O’Dowd Facebook tribute page
Orange marches to include freestyle section from 2011
Polar bears exaggerating claims of global warming
Tory MP found in “horrific state of sobriety”
