Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
With an average of 70 students per job advertised, experts have warned that students need “a plummy accent and a dollop of nepotism” to get a job. Jobs For Toffs (JFT), the influential thinktank behind the report, said that “it has never been easier for a rich boy with a well-connected Dad”.
Terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda has announced that 2,000 jobs are to go, mostly in its Western Europe Terrorism Division. The cut-backs, announced yesterday, are part of a scheme to streamline Al-Qaeda’s operations and help it maintain its position as the world’s “number one terrorist network”.
A survey published today shows worrying signs for the British economy, as at least 40% of new graduates are planning to go abroad in search of greater slacking opportunities. The revelation comes as news that the job market is opening up, and many new graduates are afraid for their unemployment.
William Hague admits YMCA stay ill-judged
BBC Breakfast viewer in critical condition
Tour operator Bazzo’s Holidays 4 U collapses, leaves holidaymakers stranded
Dirty Stones have no complaints over Naomi Campbell gift
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
