Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Officials at Burnley FC have strenuously denied accusations that they “sexed up” the Brian Laws dossier in order to gain the fans’ backing of their new manager. An official told the Daily Shame that “Brian Laws is a true legend and yes, yes he did fight at El Alamein, you go look it up on Google.”
Scientists are reportedly thrilled to have discovered a loophole in Einstein’s theory of relativity, in which football managers are said to perceive time in a wholly different manner to the rest of the world.
Daily Star Blames Muslims For Rain
Latest Al Qaeda recruitment video “basically a Justin Bieber video” say experts
Gadaffi restores Libya internet access to check comparethemercenary.com
BBC Asian Network “not doing enough to attract white, middle class listeners”
Wikileaks urged not to publish plot to Cats and Dogs 3: Feline Good
UK economy losing billions due to time lost by employees “pausing for effect”
France grinds to a halt as nation asked to work until 5:05pm
