William Hague further endangered relations with India today by appointing himself Lord Viceroy of India, Preserver of the Taj Mahal, First Marquess Hague of Madras and Imbiber of Kingfisher, much to the ire of the locals. Hague, who remains unaware of the loss of the Empire, said that he would be “touring the colonies” to “quell the revolting natives”.
July 19, 2010 | Posted in
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A Tory MP was today accused of letting voters down after being found in what has been described as a “horrific state of sobriety”. Cuthbert von Rochester, MP for Thrush-on-Cheeks, told reporters that he was “absolutely 100% sorry” for his error.
July 13, 2010 | Posted in
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Cracks are already appearing in the fragile Lib-Con coalition, with some Liberal Democrat figures reporting anonymously that they have been “bullied” by senior Tories.
May 18, 2010 | Posted in
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The Daily Shame can exclusively reveal that the general election will be determined by a horse race and not by voters in polling stations. Our source at the Electoral Commission confirmed that just three horses will be allowed to compete in the election race on 6 May.
April 29, 2010 | Posted in
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The Tory party has unveiled the latest phase in its plan to entice first-time Tory voters with a pamphlet designed to help them “lose their Tory virginity”. Critics have labelled the campaign “demeaning” and “slightly paedo-predatory”, saying that “David Cameron looks like an oily elderly uncle trying to take his nieces and nephews to a brothel.”
February 17, 2010 | Posted in
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The parents of a Norfolk child who is expressing Conservative tendencies have expressed alarm. “He’s turning alarmingly free market”, said mother Ida Cackbeans. “Which is worrying, as he’s only 4 and has a vocabulary of just over 150 words.”
February 1, 2010 | Posted in
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Tearaway website Mumsnet has declared independence from the rest of the Internet. In a move that is bound to shock the rest of the web, the renegade site for mothers has published a statement saying that “everyone else can go suck themselves”.
January 17, 2010 | Posted in
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Fresh from controversy over claims that the Conservative Party are still a bunch of evil baby-stealing bastards, David Cameron has gone even further in distancing himself from the party’s history by renaming the party the Cameron Party.
December 22, 2009 | Posted in
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