Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
The government committee set up to investigate global warming has accused Polar Bears of “exaggerating” the melting of the ice caps. Rupert Murdoch, who kindly volunteered to head up the commission, said “there is startling evidence that polar bears have been putting on a bit of a show.”
The children of controversial climate bloke Rajendra Pachauri have spoken out for the first time about a lifetime of “lies and deceit”. The global warming scientist was unavailable for comment after it was revealed that he had given his children a number of fake warnings throughout their childhood.
Scientists have issued warnings that the continuing popularity of Lada Gaga could be causing the planet “serious, horrible damage” with “untold, wretched consequences”. The report, published by some magazine or other, states that the bizarrely-clad pop vixen is even more dangerous than fossil fuels and the melting of the ice caps put together.
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
Cameron condemns creator of Siobhan O’Dowd Facebook tribute page
Orange marches to include freestyle section from 2011
Polar bears exaggerating claims of global warming
Tory MP found in “horrific state of sobriety”
