Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
In a shock announcement today, Jesus Christ, leader of over 150 million Catholic followers announced that he was leaving the Catholic Church. A press release, issued through his representative on Earth, Max Clifford, cited his reasons as “artistic differences”.
Anglican extremists today stepped up their campaign of terror by unleashing a computer virus that infects the computers of Windows users. The worm, which is described as “mildly irksome” by computer experts, causes systems to flash up messages such as “follow the path of God or I shall give you a mild scolding”.
Local priest Connor O’Bullocks is tonight in hiding after admitting that he had a thing for legal-age women. Hordes of angry church-goers have picketed his house with signs saying “get this pervert out” and “we’ll have no hetero clergy skirt-lifters round here thanks”.
Daily Star Blames Muslims For Rain
Latest Al Qaeda recruitment video “basically a Justin Bieber video” say experts
Gadaffi restores Libya internet access to check comparethemercenary.com
BBC Asian Network “not doing enough to attract white, middle class listeners”
Wikileaks urged not to publish plot to Cats and Dogs 3: Feline Good
UK economy losing billions due to time lost by employees “pausing for effect”
France grinds to a halt as nation asked to work until 5:05pm
