The four actresses, who are not prostitutes in real life, are currently embroiled in controversy over scenes in which Muslim women ditch their burqas for mini skirts, high heels and strap-on dildos. Other scenes feature Kim Cattrall humping the prophet Mohammed in a dream sequence while Sarah Jessica Parker partakes in a gang-bang in a mosque, a scene labelled “distasteful” in the Arab world.

Benny “Twenty Knuckles” McBash said that the film was “a real eye-opener”, adding “I mean, I knew Muslims were uptight and all that, but I didn’t know they thought gang-bangs in Mosques were a bad thing. I really enjoyed every minute of Sex and the City 2, and I’m going to show it to my children tonight.”

“The scene I enjoyed most was when the brunette one converted to Islam for about five minutes, just so that she could sleep with the Imam. She had a thing about beards, you see. Oh, we did laugh at that one, but there’s a serious side to the film as well. Yes, we have a laugh and a joke about it, but when you think about it, the film’s really about how Western civilisation, is being taken over by Muslam and how they all want to murder us all – every single last one of them. It’s about how our good Western women are free to dress as sluttily as they like – and sleep with as many men as they like, free from the restrictions of some zealous religious leader. So – on the one hand, very funny – on the other, very poignant.”

BNP henchwoman Margaret “Iron Breasts” Killbridge organised the screening, and has invited the four actresses over to Britain for a “full and frank exchange of minds”, adding “they’ve clearly got similar views to us, and while this wonderful film shows how Islam wants to ban us all from wearing high heels and miniskirts, one thing really jumped out at me – haven’t they got great shops in Abu Dhabi?”

Nick Griffin is expected to fly to America to officially announce the BNP’s endorsement of the film next week, and is set to meet leaders of the Ku Klux Klan, who have so far been unaware of Sex and the City 2.

Sarah Jessica Parker defended the film from those who claim it is “rather insulting to Muslims”, saying “there’s nothing racist about showing Muslim women in bikinis, is there? Especially if those bikinis are Prada! I just feel so sorry for those Muslim women. They have to pray, like, hundreds of times a day when they could be out shopping and schmoozing with hot men and all that.”

The BNP’s record at elections has been poor. Since the Saxon invasion, their share of the vote has reduced dramatically, and their latest manifesto has been labelled “ridiculous” by King Alfred himself, who refuses to share power with them.

King Alfred commented that “these people are just cranks. Since the Romans buggered off and left us, they’ve been blathering on about indigenous peoples, Celts and Picts and all that crap – but at the end of the day, these Saxons, Angles and Jutes, and all the others, they’re not doing such a bad job. They work hard, they rape and pillage hard, they like a pint of mead in the evening just like any chap. As far as I’m concerned, our levels of immigration are just fine and there’s no need for another cranky policy. What’s more – we don’t even have a system of democracy yet, so what’s the point of having a political party? Nutters.”

Britain’s immigration policy consists mainly of being invaded by Germans and Scandinavians, based a long-term mutual understanding that as long as they defeat the indigenous people in a fight, they’re allowed to stay, steal our houses, steal our jobs and sleep with our women.

Saxon invader Harold, aged 24, said that he “loves it” here in England, and that despite the bad weather, he’s sticking around: “We came here for the violence, really. There aren’t many violence opportunities back in Germany, so we all came over – me, my family, our neighbours, everyone, really – and we got jobs raping and pillaging, with a bit of moonlighting, torching Celtic houses. Of course, we decided to settle down in the end, so we got ourselves a mud hut just outside Norwich.”

The BNP, however, want to see a total expulsion of Saxony Harolds and his ilk. Leader Nickholas Gariffinne belched: “Yes, I see the irony that the country is named after one of the invaders, but these people have to go. I mean, where does this mass immigration stop? Next thing you know, we’ll be letting the bloody French in. So that’s why we’re offering every foreigner 2 gold coins to just get on the next longboat out of here and never come back.”

“Basically, it’s worrying,” said Donald Quincy, Archbishop of Little Belchwater. “On the one hand, here’s the Pope preaching about love and peace and all these hippy kind of things that keep the masses happy, and then he’s off meeting a man who allegedly eats babies and beats up grannies. Where do we draw the line?”

Other senior members of the clergy have been forced into gabbled apologies instead of sermons, telling their flocks that the Pope must be forgiven for his Hitler Jugend past and he is merely meeting the BNP leader because he has heard his home-baked cakes are “light, fluffy and 100% delicious”.

The Pope’s website, however, carries messages of rapprochement with the British National Party, saying that the Pope is “looking forward” to the meeting and that they share many views, from homosexuality and immigration right through to a shared love for chocolate digestives and British ale. Indeed, the Vatican webmaster has even created a special flash movie which shows the Pope and Nick Griffin dancing in a manly fashion with a selection of disco lights.

BNP henchman Vinnie “Ten Knuckles” McGraw declared that he was delighted that the Pope was coming round for tea, and continued: “We don’t do religion much, but when religion takes an interest in us, we’ll welcome it with open arms. I never voted for Benedict or anything, but I hear he’s into gay-bashing and getting rid of foreigners and feminists so he’s welcome round for a cuppa any time.”

Indeed, the Pope is set to begin his tour of the UK with a visit to a gay Soho nightclub. A spokesman for the Pontiff told the Daily Shame that he would be “having a dance and basically spreading the message of heterosexuality.”