Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Peter Poffles: A daring software upgrade to John Humphrys has been heralded a success by BBC bosses. The upgrade quashes rumours that the Today programme’s analogue presenter faced obsolescence following incompatibility issues with digital technology in the BBC newsroom.
In an unprecedented situation, all three leaders have been declared winners of Thursday night’s election debate. The move comes as part of Labour’s initiative to extend the classroom “everyone’s a winner” attitude into politics.
Jonathan Ross has resigned from the BBC claiming that he was “uncomfortable” with the BBC’s plans to flog him in public on the streets of Britain. The show, suggested by BBC’s head of programming Alan Underarm-West, would have seen a half-naked Ross pulling a cart full of manure through some of Britain’s most crowded town centres before apologising to each town, and being flogged as part of the programme finale.
An apology to a Man Whose Name is an Anagram of Go Wank
William Hague admits YMCA stay ill-judged
BBC Breakfast viewer in critical condition
Tour operator Bazzo’s Holidays 4 U collapses, leaves holidaymakers stranded
Dirty Stones have no complaints over Naomi Campbell gift
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
