Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Britain’s legion of nerds has voiced their “slim” hopes of winning the heart of Geordie celebrity Cheryl Cole after she separated from her husband Ashley Cole.
Hospital staff in West London have staged a “mass holiday request” as news that Ashley Cole would be checking in to have his ankle checked was leaked. Bosses at the hospital are said to be “alarmed, but not really surprised.”
Correction: Nick Clegg actually does eat babies
Nigeria’s Scammies Awards pay tribute to hard work and innovation
William Hague appoints himself as Lord Viceroy of India, upsets locals
Cameron condemns creator of Siobhan O’Dowd Facebook tribute page
Orange marches to include freestyle section from 2011
Polar bears exaggerating claims of global warming
Tory MP found in “horrific state of sobriety”
