Ahhh Britain. Great Britain, indeed. That land of rolling hills, lush green fields, vicars on bikes popping by for a scone, and red pillar boxes. A land in which a friendly nod is enough to make your day and make …
Terrorism experts have described Al Qaeda’s latest recruitment video as “appalling, yet tempting”. The video, which is basically Justin Bieber’s latest pop song, is said to be the “most compelling and convincing argument yet for joining jihad”.
Terrorist organisation Al-Qaeda has announced that 2,000 jobs are to go, mostly in its Western Europe Terrorism Division. The cut-backs, announced yesterday, are part of a scheme to streamline Al-Qaeda’s operations and help it maintain its position as the world’s “number one terrorist network”.
Senior terrorists have claimed that the worsening situation in Yemen is “making it really difficult to find cheap tickets”. Budget airlines are now hiking up their prices, meaning that the burgeoning terrorist industry is forced to seek other means of transport.
Al-Qaeda has launched a glitzy new campaign designed to promote its range of “hostage holidays”. At a gala soiree, the terrorist organisation unveiled its new TV advert, brochures and DVDs targeting the “busy infidel”. The new range of hostage holidays represents a break from Al-Qaeda tradition. The brochure proclaims “sun, sea or sand”, and a remarkably relaxing getaway for anyone who wants to hostage with Al-Qaeda. With resorts in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen and Somalia, the terrorist network aims to be the global leader in hostage getaways.