Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Britain’s bigots have blasted an elderly bigot for “not being bigoted enough” when speaking to Prime Minister Gordon Brown. The elderly woman apparently showed “promising signs of bigotry”, according to the British Bigots Association (BBA), but “not enough”.
The future of the Real IRA was thrown into turmoil last night when a new organisation, the Real Real IRA came forward and claimed that it really was the real real IRA
A furious Gordon Brown has layed into his female colleagues for not falling pregnant in time for the election. Shocked female MPs were left speechless by a foul-mouthed tirade from the Prime Minister, who allegedly told them to “get up the duff double quick or f-ck off out of my sight.”
An archaic “quirk” in the British voting system allows Daily Mail and Daily Express readers to vote in British elections. The alarming loophole has apparently always been in place, despite assurances to the contrary.
Senior researchers at the Murdoch Institute of Truth (MIT) have discovered that Nick Clegg eats babies in a satanic ritual as old as time itself. The Liberal Democrat leader, whose bounce in the polls is “nothing”, according to MIT, also runs grannies over in his car, and stuffs money up his own arse.
The Daily Shame can exclusively reveal what Gordon Brown was writing while David Cameron and Nick Clegg were speaking during the election debates.
Gordon Brown today attempted to revive Labour’s chances of winning seats from the SNP in Scotland by unveiling an ambitious project to deep-fry the remote island of Skaaagh. The island, which has a population of just 3, will be coated in batter and then submerged in oil until it goes a golden brown colour.
An election-weary public received some good news last night as the record-breaking high cost of fuel has meant that the battle buses of all three major parties in the forthcoming UK general election have been suspended.
The nation’s gay bed and breakfast owners have called for the right to refuse Conservative MPs lodging. The call came after Tory MP Chris Grayling was turned away from Brighton B&B “Gay View” for being Conservative.
To insiders at 10 Downing Street, it was meant to be a harmless joke; a jolly jape that would amuse the Japanese ambassador and his guests. To Lord Mandelson, it was an opportunity to demonstrate his ‘comedy’ side, rarely seen beyond the walls of Whitehall. To the ambassador himself, however, the “coffin stunt” was a personal affront, and one that may seriously damage relations between Great Britain and Japan.
Daily Star Blames Muslims For Rain
Latest Al Qaeda recruitment video “basically a Justin Bieber video” say experts
Gadaffi restores Libya internet access to check comparethemercenary.com
BBC Asian Network “not doing enough to attract white, middle class listeners”
Wikileaks urged not to publish plot to Cats and Dogs 3: Feline Good
UK economy losing billions due to time lost by employees “pausing for effect”
France grinds to a halt as nation asked to work until 5:05pm
