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The Daily Shame | October 6, 2015

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Keep women out of boardrooms and away from chessboards says UKIP’s Stuart Wheeler

Keep women out of boardrooms and away from chessboards says UKIP’s Stuart Wheeler

Your Daily Shame has been quiet of late, what with just having had a baby, kind of takes over your life. Anyway, thank GOD the child was a boy, because otherwise he would have had NO CHANCE in school chess competitions, or being a CEO, or playing bridge (just what the fuck is bridge anyway?)

Yep, you see, we’ve learned that women just aren’t very good at chess, bridge or being a CEO or, in fact, work in general. Because men are better. That’s the views of wrinkled cockmunch Stuart Wheeler, a man who hails from the 1970s and also from the surprisingly popular bunch of racist fucknuggets, UKIP.

Stuart Wheeler, who doesn’t think he’s sexist, said that there should be no quotas for women to get into the boardroom (which is fair enough), and reasoned this:

Chess, bridge, poker – women come absolutely nowhere, and I think that just has to be borne in mind

Poker? I guess Victoria Coren would have something to say about that.

Chess? I think Claire Gerada’s mum would have something to say about that.

Bridge? Who gives a fuck about bridge? No, really, does anyone under the age of 90 actually play bridge?

All of this cockyoghurt comes hot on the heels of Godfrey Bloom’s mindless wanderings into the world of fuckmongery. Bloom banged on about Bongo Bongo land and even tried to excuse his comments by saying “I’m talking about antelopes” or something incredibly stupid like that. Of course you weren’t talking about antelopes, Godfrey, you were talking about browns, just like you do in your sleep and in your golf club where you probably bang on about all those blackies and women folk.

Bloom also doesn’t think that pregnant women should get maternity pay, and he thinks that businesses shouldn’t employ women of child-bearing age. So, basically, any woman under the age of 40.

That’s because Godfrey Bloom and Stuart Wheeler like the company of men. I’m not saying they’re POTENTIALLY GAY because that would be wrong. I’m just saying that when they have a meeting, they prefer it if the meeting is ONLY WITH MEN. Always.

When they go to work, they prefer to work ONLY WITH MEN. Again, I must reassert that I’m not accusing Godfrey and Stuart of secretly harbouring gay thoughts about getting naked with all these men, and shunning the presence of ladies, I’m just saying that they like the company of men.

I’m also saying that while they do represent the views of “rugby clubs up and down the country”, and potentially a few golf clubs, too, it’s equally our fault for ever giving the likes of Godfrey Bloom the opportunity to spout their prehistoric nonsense on any stage whatsoever. Godfrey Bloom, you see, became an MEP because a few people voted for him, and the majority decided not to vote.

Godfrey Bloom, MEP, then decided to sit on a committee called the “Committee on Women’s Rights and Gender Equality” which apparently talks about women’s rights and gender equality. Godfrey Bloom is on that committee, ensuring that women don’t have rights or equality. Because some people voted for him, and a majority bothered not to vote.

If you all carry on like this, Stuart Wheeler will have a seat somewhere, too. And he’ll be in charge of a committee, too.

It’s one thing to laugh at these dinosaur fuckwits, but it’s another thing to consider them as our potential representatives. Do we really see democracy as such a dated concept that we allow the views of the golf club wrinklies to be seriously considered? Well it appears we do. Instead, we should be putting them in a museum, behind a glass panel, so that schoolchildren can gawp at them and be taught that “many years ago, abhorrent views such as these were commonplace”.

Perhaps it can be an interactive museum where the children get to poke Stuart Wheelers’ eyes out. And the girls can learn how to play chess.


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