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The Daily Shame | April 17, 2014

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John Inverdale’s dad told him to stick to radio – “Nobody wants to see that face”

John Inverdale’s dad told him to stick to radio – “Nobody wants to see that face”

| On 07, Jul 2013

Yes…John Inverdale’s dad told him to steer clear of television because, quite frankly, he’s never going to be a looker and nobody wants to wank over video footage of him. 

However, John’s never let these comments dissuade him.

No…instead he’s decided to push forward with a career in radio AND TV and use his extraordinary talent to piss people off worldwide.

Marion Bartoli recently triumphed in the Wimbledon Ladies’ Tennis Final and what did John have to say about it to Lindsay Davenport on Radio 5?   He asked her this:

“Do you think Bartoli’s dad told her when she was little, ‘You’re never going to be a looker.  You’ll never be a Sharapova so you have to be scrappy and fight’?”.

Great stuff, John.  I mean you’re only saying what we’re all thinking, right?

Because we all think women who play tennis, especially on TV, should have bangers like melons and an arse that can bounce you out of the bedroom.

That’s right isn’t it, John?   We’re not happy unless those tennis-playing hotties are giving the cameras nothing less than a “Get your never-ending titwank here!” advert.

You know it’s true.  These cameramen (whose fathers obviously told them to work behind the camera, rather in front of it) have it down to a tee with their right-up-the-snatch shots and ample cleavage scrutiny.

What’s more…they don’t bother us with the men.   The most we can hope for is Nadal constantly picking his shorts out of his arse-crack.   What’s not to love about that?  I mean…we don’t get close-ups of Andy Murray’s pecs glistening in the sun or his balls knocking deliciously together in slow-mo.   

NO…because we do NOT want to see THAT sexist shit!

So…what’s wrong with Marion?  You know…Marion…who didn’t shriek and grunt with every shot to simulate full orgasm or shove her jugs in our faces so all we could think about was…well…jugs.  You know…Marion…the one who played tennis so bloody well she won the Wimbledon Ladies’ Final. 

Well, there’s nothing wrong with Marion and if you ask her dad what he thinks, I’m sure he’ll be seriously fucked off at the inference he compares his daughter to tall blonde women just to ensure she does well in life.  That’s just bizarre!

Is it any wonder people are urging for John to be sacked?   Well I wouldn’t be too hasty.   Think about your BBC TV licence fees, people.   We don’t want another ex-BBC employee walking away with more money than he’s ever been worth.  We pay for that, you know.

I don’t know.  I guess John Inverdale was hoping to ejaculate more than a mouthful of sexist shit into the world as he sat palming his knackers at the sight of women frolicking on the court.   Obviously that bulk order of kitchen roll is going to last him a lot longer than he first thought.

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