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The Daily Shame | October 22, 2014

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Nick Griffin wants to squeeze Nigella Lawson’s boobies, thinks that’s funny

Gareth

This Nigella Lawson / Charles Saatchi thing, eh? Tch, it’s a rum do, isn’t it. I mean, there you were, laughing at Nigella and all her innuendo on the telly (“ooooh she meant to say willy really”), and then you’re looking at pictures of her getting strangled in public and you’re like feeling all uncomfortable.

One minute, you’re flicking through her glossy coffee-table book on how to make yourself morbidly obese in two weeks, the next you’re feeling sorry for her because she’s been attacked in broad daylight by this Saatchi twat.

And then you’re thinking… “thank GOD someone took pictures of it” because obvs those who were taking the pictures were taking them as EVIDENCE for the police, cos that’s what you do isn’t it. Man attacks woman, you have photographs of it, you call the police and tell them. Or… you call the Sun or whichever comic it was that first printed the pictures and say “I’m a cunt with a camera”.

What we need, in these dark times of domestic abuse in public, in these worrying, disturbing times where a 70-year-old man feels he can physically abuse a woman in a restaurant, make her cry, make her leave home, and then claim it’s all a playful tiff – what we need… is a little levity. A little humour. Something that makes us go “ah, now I see the lighter side”.

Something that makes us think of, say, Nigella Lawson’s chest instead of her neck.

Step forward Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party, and also known as ‘that cunt Nick Griffin’:

I’ll give you a couple of minutes to recover from the hilarity.

That’ll do. Oh and yes, he IS an elected representative, if you’d forgotten.

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