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The Daily Shame | July 30, 2014

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Single mothers brought down our economy, now they must pay

Single mothers brought down our economy, now they must pay
Gareth

You know what I hate about single mothers? It’s their smugness. There they sit, for about 30 minutes a day, smoking a fag or eating watery porridge while their brood watch Cbeebies or something. Smugly, they think they can get on without a man, look at them. Hate them.

You won’t find them on Mumsnet, no, this lot don’t bake organic carrot bakes or demarara-sprinkled grilled pineapple rings. You’ll find them all guffawing at the benefits they’re taking from our pockets and smoking fags outside the bookmakers. All of them. For that’s what single mums do.

And it was single mothers what brought down the economy, we can prove it with economics and stuff. Maths. You remember 2008 when the economy tanked? Single mums did it, because they steal all the benefits. Yep, that’s what they do. They have children with one sole aim – to take all of your money and spend it on booze and fags. If we didn’t have single mothers leeching off us all the time, we’d have escaped the recession AND gone into outright prosperity. We’ve seen it because it’s proved with economics and stuff. Single mums cause recessions because they’re selfish feminists who love booze and fags and steal all your money.

There you were blaming the bankers or the corporate bonus-hunters who took millions for themselves while making others redundant, but actually no it was the single mothers having babies WITHOUT A HUSBAND, the harridans.

Back in 2008, when Alistair Darling, the single-mother-loving bastard, denounced bankers for crashing the economy, he was hiding his secret love of single mothers. Beneath those eyebrows lurks a disgusting fetish for fag-smoking, benefit-stealing single mums.

Which is exactly why the bedroom tax aims to crack down on these harlots by taking their benefits away from them. But it’s only £13 a week, or £676 a year, which is hardly enough to get you a Waitrose shoulder of lamb so what are they moaning about? £13 a week is a drop in the ocean isn’t it? These single mums don’t know how good they’ve got it.

And it doesn’t matter that this whole bedroom tax is actually going to cost more than it rakes in because this isn’t about making money, it’s about hitting the real culprits of the economic disaster of the last few years where it hurts most. This isn’t about improving the state of the economy, this is about giving single mothers the reprimand they deserve for causing this recession. 150,000 single mums will lose the equivalent of one Waitrose shoulder of lamb per week – we’re sure that Peter Lilley would have gone further. Maybe the Tories have gone soft?

Oh, so they were targeting single mothers before they caused the economic depression. Hmmm… this all sounds a bit Saddam Hussein to me.

But anyway, all single mums are all single for one reason and that’s because they’re lazy, feckless and can’t hold on to a bread-earning man. And single dads? Pah! Whoever heard of such a thing. Single dads, don’t make me laugh.

So while you’re out there saying “this bedroom tax is a bad thing”, remember the real cause of our economic misery isn’t bankers taking all the money, or politicians playing disaster capitalism so they can give the money to their mates in healthcare, banks, G4S or whatever… it’s ALL SINGLE MUMS, which is why we’re punishing them on the same day as we’re giving every millionaire in the UK a tax cut.

Comments

  1. hello

    totally agree

  2. You're a cunt

    http://www.economicshelp.org/macroeconomics/economic-growth/cause-recession2.html

    There’s an article on the causes of recession. Get your head out of your ass you uneducated oxygen thief.

  3. Gareth

    damnit you’re right. I hadn’t realised that single mothers weren’t the cause of the recession. I withdraw my entire article immediately and apologise to all single mothers forthwith. I feel sick, ashamed and angry at myself for ever thinking that single mothers had brought down the world economy. I was wrong, and I shall never, ever again use irony as a tool to humour a select band of people and confuse people like you. Damn, did I just do it again?

  4. Fuckyou

    I was raised by a single mom. She worked 60 hours a week to support my brother and me. I put myself through university and now have a master’s. Too bad I’m not religious, because I’d like to think you’re going to rot in hell.

  5. Gareth

    you’re my favourite kind of reader. Please do come back, Fuckyou…

  6. Ellie

    Looks like several readers need a crash course in irony – perhaps these links will be helpful http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

  7. Susan Chlopicki

    Actually Gareth is right. I was a single mum with one child – I’m quite ugly and only managed to con one man to shag me. If Rohypnol had been around when I was young I’d now be living in a mansion with hundreds of kids all paid for by you and your working mates.

  8. Gareth

    roffle

  9. Closed minded, uneducated prick

  10. Gareth

    one more!

  11. really?

    please tell me these people aren’t telling you to fuck off in all seriousness? this is obviously ironic. Jeeeeeez.

    Anyway, I thought it was a good article, thanks for a chuckle

  12. Amos

    I can’t believe how many people have read this article and not realised it means the opposite of what it says, are you all completely dumb? Why would you read the articles on this website if you don’t understand sarcasm…

  13. Amos

    BTW Thanks Gareth, good read :)

  14. donna

    brilliant article!…

    Im a single mum, but also get irony. idiots!

    (pass me the white ace please)

  15. Em

    I think a lot of women have babies just for the money to waste it on drugs drinking smoking and even bingo.

    I think the cuts are good to the people who have never worked in there life and keep reproducing if
    You can’t afford to have a kid wear protection

    I am a single mum and have always gone back to work after six months .that should
    Be the rule

  16. Lucie

    Most of that is a load of bollocks if women didn’t have kids they world wouldn’t go round we are in 2013 …,,, as a single mum of 2 I do the best to bring my kids up the best I can on a budget I didn’t go into to having children thinking I was going to be a single mother it’s the men that sometimes can’t commit or take the responsibly one of my children’s dads hasn’t paid a fucking penny ever ! Don’t see the government going after him I can tell u now not all mums sit on there arses watching c beebies lol single parenting is sometimes not a choice ! Lets hope u don’t get left on ur own one day as a single dad one day being a good parent is hard work

  17. single mother rants !!gets my blood boiled when you get jumped up arses passing comments and making judgements.majority of women that have children dont start a family thinking when the tough gets going the fathers go doing one like peter pan!because when they do its the
    mother left running a house ,paying the bills,comforting and reassuring the child of the seperation while also trying to have some form of a career!agreeable there is a small minority that do take adcantage of the system!but come on the stigma single mums its like a stuck record time people got over it and maybe the mindless turd that wrote this verbal crap should get over himself aswell!

  18. Gets

    I realised you was being ironic when i got to the bankers bit.

    It’s crazy how some people get their education by watching Jeremy Kyle and then sit there smug thinking they know everything about the world and the people in it.
    If only the politicians weren’t such morons as well.

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