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The Daily Shame | October 25, 2014

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Stop shaking your fists at Cameron and Clegg! Find out who’s really stuffing up your lives.

Stop shaking your fists at Cameron and Clegg!  Find out who’s really stuffing up your lives.

So, who’s on TV tonight then?  It could be Richard Hammond (very probably). It could be Clare Balding (equally as probable).  It could even be Ricky Gervais, starring in something nobody understands because he’s dared to step away from the formulaic constraints of soap-writing.   How dare he?  Because he’s a grown-up and he wants to.

Moving on…

It’s actually more probable we’re to be invited to watch a bunch of politicians telling us they know what we want done with our country and professing to be able to do it.  Yeah, I’d like that very much.  Not only because it’s very entertaining and, to be honest, when Ant and Dec aren’t on TV we start forgetting what spontaneous fun is…BUT because if we don’t like what’s going around us, we can shake our fists at Cameron and Clegg and feel sated in our anger.  Nadine Dorries steps into the breach quite nicely too…plenty of mileage on that one for the future.

Doesn’t really do the job, though, does it?  We look around us as we wander down to the Spar the next day for hot sausage rolls, some doughnuts and a copy of a pointless magazine and realize these super-famous celeb politicians just aren’t doing their job properly.  In other words…things are still shit.

How can these people get away with promising so much, yet delivering so little?

The thing is…and what a lot of people don’t realize (or want to be bothered with) is that those two running our country (into the ground) aren’t the actual people who sort our local problems out.

It’s all very well mumbling “Fucking Cameron, the bastard” each time your foot gets stuck down a pothole outside your house, or you trip over on a pitch black pavement because those two prats on TV are cutting back on electricity in your area.  However, it’s not their fault (can’t believe I just said that).

You see, it’s just too easy to blame Ant Cameron and Dec Clegg for the lack of free parking everywhere you go and assume they’re spending all your taxes on benefit scroungers and trains and stuff, but they’re not your direct problem (can’t believe I just said that either).

Look at it this way.  All the while the media are giving us these high-profile targets to aim at, we’re not really taking any notice of what’s going on right under our noses.  Even our kids are ‘plumbed in’ to their laptops and phones via extortionately over-priced ear buds, watching YouTube and infecting Twitter and Facebook with cats, memes and trout pouts.  They’re bombarded with countless pictures of Cameron and Clegg and assume they’re the bosses of every single town in the UK.

Let me tell you…these two are very unlikely to be seen walking among us peasants.  You won’t see them in Londis, flicking through a mag and reading articles like ‘My ex stole my front door and all I have left are the hinges’  or ‘Forced to sell my own head so I could afford to eat’ with a picture of a decapitated woman holding up a handful of fifty pound notes in one hand and a cheese sandwich in the other.

No…what you need to find out is who IS walking among us peasants.  Who is actively making things better or worse for us lesser beings?  It’s not even hard to find out, but we just don’t bother.  We’re too bogged down with Corrie and Eastenders and watching people dive into water.   I’m sure even Jeremy Kyle has been placed in our midst to convince us our lives are bloody fantastic when compared to the lives of some of the mutations of humanity he invites on to his show.

These are extreme cases everybody!  Stop looking at the TV!  It has no bearing on YOUR LIFE!

Do yourselves a big favour.  Forget those big names on TV and get stuck in to your local politicians.  They’re the ones who are probably stuffing up your life right now.   Your district council is responsible for all things local, so make sure you find out whether it’s your local Labour, Tory or Lib-Dem party who are relentlessly fighting your cause…and VOTE FOR THEM in every local election you’re able to.

Seriously…vote for the local party reps who want to help YOU as an individual, whoever they may be.  Just because Cameron and Clegg can’t walk down the street together without banging heads and falling into the road, don’t assume your local Tories or Lib-Dems are the same.

Similarly, don’t concern yourself with Gordon Brown’s bad reputation when considering a Labour vote.  The Labour party are not the Borg.  They are not connected to each other through Gordon Brown (sorry all you non-trekkies…I couldn’t think of any better analogy there…it’s been a busy morning).

If you’re worried you might not be sent a polling card then go postal.  Get on line and opt to receive a polling card for every single election you’re eligible to vote in.  It’s so easy to do.  Don’t risk missing out on any election that could make a difference because your town council can’t get its act together…or, rather, chooses not to.

You see, there are a lot of Tory district councils presiding over us peasants who are happy to count out all the money we pay in council taxes, but are not so happy to mix with us and find out what we want and need them to spend it on.   What do they care?  Once it’s been paid to them it’s no longer ours, it’s THEIRS and we can bugger off back to our unlit streets and uneven roads…and Jeremy Kyle…and the hungry rich woman with no head.

So…go on…dig a little deeper into local campaigns and find out who’s opposing what.  You might be pleasantly surprised to discover your Labour representatives, who you’ve never thought of voting for, are the ones keeping the arrogant money-grabbing Tories in check.

You might even find you’ve been blessed with an honest breed of Tories (and that’s the mother of all oxymorons, right there) who are pushing local issues on your behalf while other parties try to stab them in the back at every turn.

The Lib-Dems might be doing something, but you probably won’t find out about that until everything’s been sorted and they’re happy to jump off the fence and into the glory.

Be shrewd either way.  If, say, your district council is Tory, don’t be silly and assume that anything good happening in your town is their doing.  It’s more likely to be the work of your Labour party, opposing cuts and unfair decisions that would make your life Hell.

So please, for your own sakes, stop confusing TV with local politics or you’re likely to end up like my poor old mum who was terrible with names and often mistakenly expressed her disappointment in Lionel Blair as prime minister, especially when he shut down the launderette round the corner.

Do you see why I struggle with these issues?

 

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