David Davies MP really worries about gay children, gay grandchildren, and gay boxers
Your Daily Shame is the proud parent of a 2-year-old, but recently the missus and I been having sleepless nights and have been googling like mad, using phrases such as ‘how to prevent my child becoming gay’ and ‘will my child be gay’. We hadn’t really thought about it until Tory, erm, MP, David Davies (another one!) came along and said that most parents do not want their children to be homosexual.
And because it’s David Davies, we have to listen. No, really, we do. Sit down and listen to him.
He thinks that “most people are very tolerant and have no problem at all if people are gay”… now, you and I both know that there’s a but coming. Ready for the but? “but I think most parents would prefer their children not to be gay, knowing most parents want grandchildren, if nothing else.”
Yup, that’s why we had children. Because we wanted a grandchild. In fact, before conceiving, the wife and I sat down and started drawing a family tree with ourselves at the top. We were all misty-eyed as we skimmed over the offspring that we were seeking to create, and started naming our grandchildren ourselves.
“Child number one will have four grandchildren”, my wife proclaimed. “Two girls and two boys”. I agreed heartily, and filled in the future family tree. “Let’s name them John, Jake, Jasmin and Yasmin”, I added, while my wife nodded vigorously. “Yes, let’s.”
And we set off and created the child that would give us those grandchildren we so desperately wanted. Because grandchildren are the children whose arses you don’t have to wipe. Grandchildren are the children you can just hand back, saying “yeah, I’m done now, it needs feeding”.
You can almost see his point, if it weren’t completely fucking insane.
What else did David Davies have to say, seeing as we’re sitting here listening to him stream forth shit from his mouth?
“What I’m concerned about is… having gay marriage recognised by law, which opens the door to all churches being forced to do that. It changes the way that sex education is going to be taught in schools…”
No it doesn’t, David.
“… and I think it goes against what a lot of people feel very strongly about, particularly within the Conservative Party.”
OK, David, most of the Tory party are people like you, only older, and about to die soon anyway, so they don’t matter. The thing is, your boss has decided that gay marriage is A. Good. Thing and he’s actively promoting it. Which means, unfortunately for David Davies, he’s not going to be actively promoting you.
But does all this make David Davies a homophobic shitbag? No, not at all. This is David Davies, who once punched a gay man in a boxing fight. He’s all FOR the gays, is David. He fought one in the past! Equal opportunity punching!
Once fought gay boxer. Respect & like.trained with after bout so not bigoted. actvists calm down- listen to other views youtu.be/-3T2teJaVlA
— David Davies (@davidtcdavies) December 9, 2012
Now, aside from the HILARIOUS fact that David calls himself ‘The Tory Tornado’, you have to feel sorry for David that he’s trying to defend himself by publishing a video of him fighting a gay man in a boxing ring. But this is what the boxing magazine had to say about him:
WITH his outspoken views on immigration, gypsies, political correctness and everything else under the sun, there is no shortage of people who would like to punch Tory MP David Davies in the face. In fact, there are a few senior members of the Welsh Conservatives who would like to give him a walloping.
Anyway, the wife and I have stopped worrying about whether our child is going to turn out gay. However, we really, really, really don’t want her to turn out to be a Tory, for that really is an affliction no parent would want for their child.