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The Daily Shame | October 9, 2015

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Silly Sally Bercow incurs wrath of the Mighty McAlpine

Silly Sally Bercow incurs wrath of the Mighty McAlpine

It appears to be de rigueur to offer one’s apologies to Lord McAlpine these days. I’m told everyone is doing it, and it’s the fashionable thing to do over there on that Twitter thing that people use all the time. Everyone’s apologising to Lord McAlpine, and those who don’t need to apologise to him are insisting that everyone does because he’s 100% innocent and besmirched and HE MATTERS.

You see, Lord McAlpine is apparently the most important man on this planet, from everything we have heard. He’s SO IMPORTANT that the BBC, who didn’t name him as a paedophile in a documentary that named nobody, has to hand over £185,000 to him. That’s a measure of how important Lord McAlpine is, you see. Even if you DON’T mention his name, you have to give him money.

Myself, I’ve started up a McAlpine savings fund because I’ve not been mentioning his name for many, many years. Now I’ve mentioned his name several times already in this article (and elsewhere on the Daily Shame), I suppose I’d better put it in a high-interest account to make that money work for me. If only there were such a thing, eh.

Lord McAlpine has a few pennies, though. What with being THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN in the world, whose word must be respected and whose will must be imposed. He’s not short of a few bob, is old McAlpine. Which is why he can pay people to trawl that Twitter and look for people who have mentioned his name.

And lo, here’s one such fool who mentioned his name. Sally Bercow, she of the bedsheet and the Houses of Parliament fame. She of Big Brother and being married to someone who apparently is a politician. I really had no idea who Sally Bercow was, to be honest. I’m a busy man.

But apparently she was on that Twitter, and she asked people why Lord McAlpine was ‘trending’, which is Twitter speak for ‘everyone is talking about him and using a hashtag in front of his name’ and then did this *innocent face* thing which apparently is Twitter speak for ‘he’s deffo a paedo’. And because everyone seems to dislike Silly Sally, she’s apparently the one Lord McA’ is going after. Not the ones that actually said “Lord McAlpine’s a paedophile” on Twitter, no, he’ll get to them later. First of all, he’s after Silly Sally Bercow.

First of all, I don’t give a shit about Sally Bercow. Worst of all are the media types who think that she’s worth impaling as part of their crusade on behalf of THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN THE WORLD, Alistair McAlpine. She tweeted something about his name trending on Twitter, so fucking what? She’s another nobody who tweeted, nobody gives a fuck, and nobody in the media has the right to campaign against a woman simply because they don’t like her.

And secondly, why the massive media crusade on behalf of Lord McAlpine? So he’s not a paedophile – so fucking what. Let’s find the ones who are, shall we?

Or are you too busy licking the shiny shoes of your favourite Lord McAlpine that you’ve forgotten about Steve Messham and the other boys who were raped on a daily basis by a bunch of sick fuckers, many of whom haven’t been imprisoned and many of whom have avoided prison because they’re too rich and powerful.

Justice for Lord McAlpine first, and bollocks to the rest huh.


  1. Jim Parkes

    Love the Daily Shame keep up the great work and long may you live to write this article

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