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The Daily Shame | October 31, 2014

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NOW selfish Walmart employees want stuff, will ruin Thanksgiving for everyone

NOW selfish Walmart employees want stuff, will ruin Thanksgiving for everyone

Oh, America. We said it yesterday, but you just did NOT LISTEN to us when we said that your brown commie was going to ruin you, ruin you forever with communism and shit. But hey, life goes on. So let’s go down to Walmart to pick up your Thanksgiving Turkey, for that’s what you do around this time of year, as well as buying cheap stuff on that Black Friday thing.

Oh, but what’s this? They’re on strike? Naw, don’t worry, the good bosses of Walmart will make darn sure that there’s no strike this Thanksgiving by filing an official unfair labor complaint (yes, I left the ‘u’ out on purpose). Basically, they don’t want the unions to ruin everyone’s Thanksgiving.

Awwww. You see, Walmart employees, you lazy good for nothings, your bosses care about the customers.

Not you. No, really, they don’t give a shit about you. Here’s a few facts about you, the Walmart employees:

But hey, don’t get down – cheer up, because at least you’re helping Walmart make $444bn turnover, while your CEO makes $35m a year, which is more than, erm, more than ALL OF YOU put together. Think about that. Think about how you’re helping create the great American Recovery, and how trickle down economics really, really works.

So, really, you should be thankful of the opportunity to provide your Dear Leader with more money than all of you put together, and you should be damn grateful that you’re getting food stamps from the government to support your poverty-line wages.

So let’s go back to one of our favourite nutjobs for a take on how a typical Walmart customer would view this situation – it’s our friend Eric Dondero:

When I’m at the Wal-mart or grocery story I typically pay with my debit card. On the pad it comes up, “EBT, Debit, Credit, Cash.” I make it a point to say loudly to the check-out clerk, “EBT, what is that for?” She inevitably says, “it’s government assistance.” I respond, “Oh, you mean welfare? Great. I work for a living. I’m paying for my food with my own hard-earned dollars. And other people get their food for free.” And I look around with disgust, making sure others in line have heard me.

We’re quite sure that Walmart employees would look up to Eric Dondero and say “yes, he’s right, I shouldn’t be asking for food stamps to pay my children, I should be out there working. Except that I’m working right now. And of the $444bn that the company makes each year, I get a few dollars which barely covers the rent.”

Now, if you think that Walmart are being particularly evil here, well yes, they are. But they’re FREE to do that, because that’s what FREEDOM is all about. The freedom to shaft your employees in the name of profit and $35m a year for one person. And you’re free to effectively get the state to subsidise your workforce, so that you can pay them even less money. That’s probably what Mitt Romney would call “good business”.

So if you work for Walmart, then good luck to you – there aren’t many other employers around because they all had to shut down when Walmart opened up and undercut them. And if Eric Dondero walks in and starts asking what EBT is, ram his bottle of Bourbon up his arse (sorry, ass) and tell him you’re on strike.

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Comments

  1. Well, well, well. Look who just dropped by for a visit. Name the Wal-mart, time and place. Houston, Dallas?

    I would love for any of you America-hating fucks to try to assault me.

    Here’s my number 979-848-4575. Call to arrange.

    And for the record, it’s not the Wal-mart employee so much I have a problem with. Like you said, he/she is working for a living. Good for them. It’s that fat fuck in line behind me. The one paying with food stamps whose got a cart full of steak and lobster, while I’m having to buy the bologna on special.

  2. Gareth

    Eric! How LOVELY to have you here.
    You say they’re working for a living, but Walmart (having put most other employers out of business) doesn’t give them a living wage. So actually Walmart’s costing the US economy billions in food stamps / benefits that could be avoided…
    What’s your thoughts on that?

  3. Why do we even have minimum wage laws? It’s a private contract between two individuals. What right does the government have to step in and say you cannot work for whatever wage you wish, or even for barter?

    You know one of the very first pieces of legislation Hitler implemented when he became Chancellor in Nazi Germany was a minimum wage law.

    Abolish Minimum Wage Laws! Let workers work for who they choose, for whatever amount of $$ they choose, and stop the government harassment of all employers who wish to offer work.

  4. And who’s to say what a “living wage” is? Anyone can make up a number. Why not $40,000 a year? Why not $80,000 a year.

    Honestly, all you minimum wage advocate, got a question for ya? At what point do you say enough is enough? There are some far out leftists now in the U.S. calling for a $20.00 an hour minimum wage. Can you imagine that? Hell, why not $30.00 an hour?

    And if that were ever to be implemented would you throw people like me in jail for working out a barter arrangement or cash payment of payment in gold/silver with some potential employer for less than $20 an hour? Shouldn’t Americans have the right to work for whomever they so choose, and for whatever wage or barter they see fit, in whatever form of payment?

  5. KFR

    don’ t you tell all the secrets and howto to the plebs & prols , they will all emigrate to Obamaland and open some cash-in-chain !

  6. not1fish

    Hi Eric, that barter idea could really take off. Think my mortgage company would accept 12 chickens a week in lieu of mortgage payments?

  7. Gareth

    Wow, Eric. I’m not sure where to start with you. Why do we have minimum wage laws? Because without them, unscrupulous employers will try to get away with paying next to nothing, forcing people to rely on state handouts.
    The less employers pay = the more the government has to pay. As a man who likes small government, I’m sure you’d appreciate that – you’ll be paying less in tax and there will be fewer food stamps if employers paid a reasonable salary (no, not $80,000 a year, that would not be competitive).
    80% of Walmart employees have to rely on state handouts because Walmart have killed off competition. Don’t go thinking that “us lefties” don’t like competition and the free market – we do, so long as it improves peoples’ lives.
    “Let people work for whomever they choose” you say. Not always possible when everyone else has closed down and the only job going is an underpaid one at Walmart.
    And re: Adolf Hitler… yes, he did introduce a minimum wage. He also introduced the motorway. Sorry, highway. So highways are Nazi, are they? Sometimes, even bad governments can do good things.

  8. Tommy

    As the owner of a British business employing 165 people, all of whom are paid above the British living wage of around £7.75/hr ($12.40), I respect the people who work for me and I have a feeling that is reciprocated. Advocates of no minimum wage and total freedom of the labour market completely miss the point. Pay peanuts, you’ll get monkeys. Maybe that’s part of the reason why the US economy, and the European one for that matter, are in the mess they are. Imade a decent living last year, as did the people who work for me. Oh, and for the record, our business grew 25% last year and a further 40% this year. Coincidence ? I don’t think so.

  9. StaffsMan

    Dear Mr Dondero, I look forward to when the Chinese hand your sorry, bankrupt, corporate fascist country’s ass to you on a plate.

    Screw you you fat redneck.

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