Mick Jagger and Bill Wyman have insisted that they were “delighted” at being gifted supermodel Naomi Campbell. The supermodel was allegedly a present from tyrant and all-round bad guy Charles Taylor, who is facing trial for war crimes.

The dirty Stones insisted: “We had no idea that receiving a supermodel was illegal, man. Charles just asked us to get her out of Africa, and we said – hey man, get your rocks off a minute, what’s this all about? She’s like, really hot and everything, but is this all legal? I mean we’re geriatric rock stars, man, we just do rock’n'roll, drugs, drink and light-hearted banter, not the illegal handling of stolen supermodels.”

“He said – woah dudes, chillax and smoke some dope baby, she’s totally legit and all that – 110% kosher and above board… just get her out of the country and I’ll give you all the drugs you can handle. So we were like – what’s the fuss man? We get drugs and a supermodel. Rock on!”

The illegal deal was struck after a weekend of partying in Sierra Leone, and the supermodel was smuggled out of the country with the two dirty Stones who allegedly “leered” at her throughout the whole journey, each taking turns to catnap while the other kept an eye on their latest gift. Sources close to the rock band say that they “knew receiving a supermodel from a tyrant was illegal”, adding “they were offered Sophie Dahl but turned her down because she’s put on too much weight.”

“They were showing her off at dinner parties and everything – Mick would delight in unveiling her and bragging about his brand new supermodel. We all knew he’d acquired her in some illicit activity – he always does. The next night she’d be out with Bill – this is very dodgy.”

The pair have refused to testify in court, saying that they could not afford to miss an episode of Countdown.