Olympic mascots Wenlock and Mandeville are embroiled in scandal after an undercover reporter overheard them laughing and poking fun at humans, calling us ‘two-eyed freaks’.
The mascots, who are allegedly very popular with children, were caught on tape after having had “one too many martinis” at a post-unveiling ceremony earlier this week. At one point, Wenlock turns to Mandeville and says “don’t you think they all look a bit, well, weird?” to which Mandeville agreed, saying “what’s with this two-eye business? They look like they’ve been drawn by Picasso or something. Blindfolded.”
Raucous laughter ensued as the two mascots continued to mock: “Look at the big ones,” said a joyous Wenlock. “All pink and tubby, and they hardly ever move! I can’t believe someone actually designed these freaks! I tell you what, they’ll never last, they’re just meaningless blobs.”
Mandeville went further: “Actually, they’re an insult. At least we have the decency to put some clothes on – but some of these humans can’t even be bothered to do that – or at least, the clothes they do wear are just shit. I saw one the other day, right, with his pants halfway down his arse. You’d never catch me doing that. What if you get chased? What if there’s a fire? Some of them are bloody idiots.”
Wenlock concluded: “Nothing about these humans actually makes me want to watch the Olympics. We might as well just resign.”
When confronted over their claims, the mascots told reporters that they “knew the microphones were on” and “were just having a bit of fun” with the humans. However, the Daily Shame has uncovered evidence that the mascots are involved in a “human hate campaign” in alliance with Atlanta’s Izzy, World Cup Willie, and Spain 92′s Naranjito, a viciously anti-human orange character who was arrested for hate crimes in 1986, only to be released a year later as he was ‘going mouldy’.
Kaz, Ato and Nik, who represented Japan and Korea when they hosted the World Cup, said that the two Olympic mascots were “foolish” and “new to the game”, adding “when you become a mascot, fame goes to your head. They’ll learn and they’ll just get on with the job eventually… give them time!”
2 comments
This Is Your Olympic Committee On Drugs « Eat It Or Wear It says:
May 23, 2010
[...] spoofed on web Meet the London 2012 Olympic Mascot, a Ghoulish Cycloptic Phallus Named Wenlock Wenlock and Mandeville caught mocking ‘two-eyed freaks’ London 2012 Official Homepage 2012 Summer Olympics London 2012 from the International Olympic [...]
Jordana says:
May 25, 2010
Hi,
We are an industrial design studio from Barcelona TRIADISSENY. This is the mascot that we would have liked to offer to you, but unfortunately we couldn’t. As you will see, in our web site: http://www.triadisseny.cat, it is the Cheshire Cat, we thought that it was a traditional English icon. We designed a mascot that went together with the Logo, this was our intention.
It is a pity but we couldn’t register for the competition, in our opinion, the rules were intended for big companies, we tried to contact some companies but we didn’t receive any response.
On the other hand, it seemed reasonable that the company to win the contest had to be English and, for us, compete would mean a great effort without much hope.
By the way, we designed the mascot of the 2008 International Expo, where the theme was the water.
Anyways, we want to show you what we have done and we hope you like it.