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British voters have spoken out over their relief that Nigel Farage escaped relatively unharmed from his plane crash last week. The former UKIP leader, who had been labelled a ‘cock’ before the accident, saw his ‘cock’ status temporarily lifted during his stay in hospital.
Labour voter Dan Fruitschaft said that he was “mightily relieved” to see Farage was still alive and recuperating well after his accident: “I’ve always called Farage a cock. Not to be able to do so was almost, like, a restriction of personal freedom, you know what I mean? You can’t call a dying man a cock, can you. Or a cunt. Or a fuckwit. Anyway, whatever you want to call him, it’s kind of – unfair while he’s lying in hospital, or potentially dying.”
“So, now that he’s back on his feet and walking around – probably back to full health and all that – I can go back to calling him a cock.”
Farage, who favours the UK’s withdrawal from the rest of the world and our continued existence as a separate, green-meadowed, planet maintained by a floating biosphere that pumps in oxygen while pumping out carbon dioxide as well as black people, Europeans and left-handed people, left hospital yesterday to cheering crowds.
He told visiting reporters that he would “continue the fine work that UKIP has done in keeping the European menace from our doors, purging the country of foreigners and burning virgins on the heath in a dance as old as time.” He continued, “In the true spirit of Robert Kilroy-Silk, we shall fly the flag, keep the pound and fight for every Daily Mail reader in this fine, fine country.”
Mother of four Annette Quizzby said that she had been waiting outside the Oxfordshire hospital with her four children since Farage was brought in after his light air craft dived into a field:
“I’ve been hoping and praying that he’s OK. I’ve always referred to him as Fuckface Farage, and the minute I heard he was involved in an accident, I had to stop myself. As the days went on, and those photos came out with him being plucked from the wreckage, I started feeling maybe slightly guilty. Thank the Lord he’s OK, because I lapsed once or twice and called him a knob, and I felt terrible about it. Now he’s out and about, I can carry on, and maybe even introduce new words like cuntshuttle and wankleshaft. And so can my children.”
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What an absolute fuckin’ knobhead the authour of this article is,it’s painfully obvious that all the ganja smoking with your marxist unwashed limp wristed uni buddies has destroyed your 1 remaining brain cell
awwwww did I annoy you, commie basher? Did the words on the screen hurt your brain? Or are you just looking for new targets now that there are no commies?
This author needs to understand that the country is turning against socialists and UKIPs time will soon come – and when it does… we’ll not forget about twats like you.
GSTQ
yes, Tom, please don’t forget about us when UKIP are elected to government… pretty please
Ukip will be fighting for you to live in a democracy long after you’ve given up trying to make money from this painfully unfunny site.
Hahahahahahahaha. Brilliant. Best comment ever.
Hilarious, I have to say, ignore these fascist commentators who would rather read the likes of Jan Moir.
My father and I had a really good laugh.
Quite right Commie Basher and the other BNP/UKIP fans – after all there was plenty of democracy in 1930’s Germany with the fore-runners of our glorious parties.
As you’d expect from a hard-left paper like the Daily Telegraph (pinkos) we’re under constant attack from the loony commies http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1544527/Revealed-Ukip-official-gave-money-to-the-BNP.html
A wonderful article. Nice to see someone having a go at BNP/UKIP. Everyone seems toforget that ‘Our Nige rather than hating Johnny Foreigner as he encourages all his supporters to dohe actually likes them,remember that Latvian ‘Hostess’…Why doI hate Farage more than Nick Griffin?
Very great article. Really!