A cross-party inquiry has been demanded, to look into the Wyvern pub scandal which saw dozens of locals left without a drink after last orders were called. A line of thirsty boozers were left furious that they could not get their drink in before the pub shut.

“It’s disgusting,” said Wyvern regular Derek “Deggsy” Doveshit. “I was at the bar five minutes before closing time, and didn’t even get a chance to order a drink. I was going to have my eighth pint of Fosters, but I was denied by the barman who was clearly inept, and could not deal with the number of people at the bar. Whoever is in charge of this bloody country should really look into this.”

“My wife was in tears,” he continued. “She’d been looking forward to her last drink, and was turned away. However, I heard that down the road in the next constituency, they were having a lock-in so that all of those who missed out on the last orders call were able to get their drink in. Why did this not happen at the Wyvern? I want answers.”

The day’s drinking had appeared to go to plan, with a dribble of regulars in the afternoon followed by the traditional intake of office workers after 5pm. Pub landlord Micky “Hotpants” Haversack said that “it was just another day, really – or at least, much like any other day.” He went on to say that “as the evening wore on, we had an idea that maybe, just maybe it was going to be tough to get everyone’s drinks in.”

“As last orders approached, there seemed to be more and more people trying to get a drink. Well, it’s not as if they have a legal right to it or anything, but we do our best to help.”

Witnesses claim that the queues at the bar were “unprecedented”, and that only the incompetency of the local barstaff could be behind their being prevented a final drink. One thirsty local noted that the barstaff “didn’t even have enough pint glasses” at one stage:

“I couldn’t believe it,” said a stunned Mary O’Wimbledon. “I mean, in this day and age – with all the modern technology they’ve got – you’d have thought that they could have some pint glasses left over for us, but they were only doing halves by 10:45. I don’t care who’s running the country, they should be looking into this as a matter of absolute priority. Dozens of us have been denied a drink, and it could all have been avoided.”