David Cameron has saluted Britain’s swing to “meh” politics by not particularly choosing one party or the other. Hailing it as a victory for non-committal politics, the potential Prime Minister said it was a “momentously middling” moment in UK politics.

“This is a huge victory for ‘meh’,”, said Cameron, visibly salivating. “The British public have voted en masse for nothing in particular. This huge swing to mehness is a damning indictment of Gordon Brown’s commitment to one way or the other, which quite frankly, we’ve all had enough of.”

Oily senior Tories have been queuing up to hail the new period of “meh” as the new cool. Oliver Letwin said that it was “marvellous” that “meh” had won the day:

“Today marks the first day of political apathy for many, many years of boring, straightforward decision-making – and the people have turned out in record numbers to demonstrate that middle of the road meh-itude.”

Gordon Brown, however, tried in vain to latch onto the new mood of “meh” by slouching on a lectern outside Downing Street, telling reporters that he no longer “really gave a toss”, and was happy to stick around in number 10 for “a while… whatever.”

Peter Mandelson simpered: “We at Labour have always been meh, and are looking forward to the opportunity to be completely meh with whichever party wants to be non-committally meh with us. But frankly, we’re not bothered any more. Is that convincing? Was I convincing enough there? I’m not sure. Is this microphone on?”

The last time Britain displayed meh on such a huge scale was back in 1974, when Edward Heath spent three days lying in bed after an election, refusing to talk to anyone.