Britain’s bigots have blasted an elderly bigot for “not being bigoted enough” when speaking to Prime Minister Gordon Brown. The elderly woman apparently showed “promising signs of bigotry”, according to the British Bigots Association (BBA), but “not enough”.

“She’s old enough to be more bigoted,” said Eric Saskatchewan of the BBA. “And frankly, she’s endemic of the situation of modern bigotry in this country. Not only is our proud history of bigotry in the hands of stupid old people, but it’s nowhere near what it used to be.”

The BBA has issued a pamphlet designed to promote bigotry, especially to youngsters, who are increasingly turning their backs on bigotry.

Says Saskatchewan: “Bigotry as we know it could die out completely if kids don’t get into it. Instead, they’re taught that everyone is equal and that nobody is stupid. We’d love to get more kids into bigotry. But only white ones. And no gays.”

“See – that’s proper bigotry,” he beamed.

Gordon Brown, in the meantime, has been forced to make an embarrassing apology to the BBA after calling an old woman a bigot when, in fact, she was only slightly bigoted.

Lord Mandelson told reporters: “Gordon is proud of Britain’s heritage in bigotry, and equally proud of Britain’s bigots. What he said today was an insult to Britain’s ignorant population, who uphold the true values of bigotry.”

Saskatchewan called upon bigots to return to the “core values of British bigotry”, saying “we’re not doing enough to maintain racism, sexism and all forms of discrimination in our society. Frankly, it seems that we’ve lost sight of the core tenets of bigotry: a complete and utter disdain and disregard for other people and cultures, a total ignorance of facts, and an absolute belief in ones own irrationality.”

“If that woman’s a bigot, I’m a gay, negro monkey’s uncle.”