Officer manager Neil Sutcliffe ended every day acknowledging a polite ‘hello’ from his office cleaner of three years. Today, however, he will not be making contact, nor any friendly gestures towards the cleaner after discovering that he was not alone in receiving the friendly interaction.

“I feel used,” he moaned. “It made me feel that bit more special, leaving the office and getting a hello from the office cleaner. In fact, I make it a point always to respond and be friendly to the office cleaner. I’ve always said that if there’s a revolution, these people will be in charge, and you’d better be on their side. However, when I discovered that I wasn’t the only one to receive a hello on my way out, I felt sick to my stomach.”

Sutcliffe discovered the greeting-cheating when leaving the office early for the first time since 2007. Hiding behind his door, he noticed the cleaner saying hello to at least three other colleagues, before turning his attention back to his work. Indeed, with one of the colleagues, the cleaner appeared to have an extended conversation involving plans for the evening, and a jokey “see you tomorrow” / “not if I see you first” back-and-forth repartee. The colleague then made a ‘thumbs-up’ sign to the cleaner, who reciprocated, evidently the sign of an internal joke to which Sutcliffe was not party.

He then went back to his cleaning with an obvious smile on his face, clearly reminiscing over the banter which preceded.

“I thought he was going to slap him on the back at one point,” said Sutcliffe. “There I was feeling all special about my hello every evening, feeling that I was the one who had the repartee, the friendship, the relationship with this cleaner, whose name I forget. And all the time, he was greeting colleagues as well.”

Sutcliffe left the office in a rage, punching cars as he walked through the car park, and sat hitting his steering wheel for five full minutes before driving off at high speed.

Sutcliffe is thought to have entered therapy to overcome his greeting-cheating issue, but cleaner Theobald Salopard claims that Sutcliffe is indeed “the most special person in the office” for him. He told us, in a no-way scripted manner, that “Mr Sutcliffe is the person I wait to say hello to and his hello is the most special moment of my day. However, I will not be restricted to one office worker. I’m a gregarious man, and I love my job. Part of that job is saying hello or goodbye to people as they leave their place of work. Mr Sutcliffe has to realise that.”