Gay B&B owners demand right to refuse Conservative MPs
The nation’s gay bed and breakfast owners have called for the right to refuse Conservative MPs lodging. The call came after Tory MP Chris Grayling was turned away from Brighton B&B “Gay View” for being Conservative.
“We’re well within our rights,” said gay B&B owner Brendon Gibberdon. “What they do is disgusting – it’s just plain wrong, and I don’t want it going on in my hotel. These Conservatives think that they can just waltz in here, get a room and be all Tory on us, flouncing around with their ties off and their stripey shirts. No, not in my B&B they won’t.”
“We’ve run a happy, non-Conservative B&B for many years, and everyone who comes here is happy with it. What would I tell the regulars if there were a Tory staying here overnight? What do I tell Mrs Gupta who comes every summer? They’d all be too scared to come out of their rooms.”
Grayling was refused accomodation this weekend after Brendon’s partner, Ian, noticed Grayling’s receding hairline and oily complexion. At first, Grayling dodged questions over his political leanings, and admitted that he had his suspicions about the gay couple as soon as he arrived at the B&B.
“The minute I approached the B&B, I could see them looking at me all suspicious through the net curtains. Their body language was off from the start. Then he started quizzing me about my attitude towards the poor and my taxation policies – to be frank, I was just looking for somewhere to put my head down for the night, I had no idea that as Conservatives, we would be persecuted by gay B&B owners.”
“I felt humiliated,” he admitted. “They just told me to get out, so I did.”
Thomas Wenchlock, Head of the Gay B&B Owner’s Confederation said that Brendon and Ian were “bang on” refusing to give Grayling a room: “For years, people have been uneasy about letting Conservatives stay in their hotels or Bed and Breakfasts – and finally, these two brave men have made a stand. What Conservatives do is unethical and dirty, and it makes ordinary, hard-working people sick. There. I’ve said it.”