A local family has spoken of its delight at moving into the famous Vuedemerde Road pothole in Shytte-on-Sea. The pothole was on the market for just two weeks, and was snapped up for a record £225,000.

“It’s a beauty,” beamed father of three Dan Craptonne. “We couldn’t believe our luck when we heard that it was up for sale. I remember seeing it for the first time when we almost lost our Ford Fiesta in it, and I thought – hey, this would be perfect for a family home.”

The family admits that traffic may be a problem, but said that once they’d negotiated the estate agents down from their initial asking price of £330,000, the traffic no longer seemed like such a big problem. Wife Mary said that she was looking forward to decorating:

“Laura Ashley have got some lovely pothole furniture these days,” she mused. “Yes, the open roof may be a problem, but we can easily put a throw over it, and I suppose if you want the positives, there’ll be plenty of natural light. I’m looking forward to putting some nice wallpaper up, and once we’ve saved up a bit more money, we can maybe extend it. You know, add a conservatory or something. The kids already love it.”

Estate Agent Daz Onfuarray said that there has been “massive interest” in potholes since his estate agents, Bastard & Twattes, came up with the idea of selling them off to local families unable to afford sky-high house prices:

“Yeah, there’s like, loads of potholes, and some of them are bigger than footballer’s wives cupboards. So me an’ Davo, we just thought – hey, there’s a few bob to be made here, we bought ‘em off the council and families are just snappin’ ‘em up. There’s one family down the road who’ve converted their pothole into a spacious cave, they’ve got stunning views all round, and they’ve diverted traffic by putting a beautiful little traffic cone in front of it.”

“We’ve also got one more stunning pothole development – it’s cosy, with wonderful views of the sky, great access to the shops and local amenities – just perfect for a family starting out or a first-time buyer. In a year’s time, I reckon that the buy-to-let pothole market will be massive.”