Anthrax and Smallpox have announced a merger that will extend their disease coverage significantly, making them the third largest disease in the world. The new disease, which will be known as Anthpox, will be released onto the market in Q1 2011, and its creators hope it will kill thousands.

“This is great for disease customers,” said Anthrax CEO Bertram Bedridden at a press launch yesterday. “In a market saturated with choice, Anthpox will provide consumers with a value-added disease that really does maximise potential, leveraging synergies where other diseases don’t. Our aim is to improve consumer disease decisioning through facilitated disease delivery through point of sale mechanisms.”

Smallpox CEO Jim Overload told shareholders that the newly created disease would rival Ebola, adding that “it’s going to be the first truly democratic disease – anyone can get it. In fact, it’s going to be the coolest disease ever – we’ve maximised our press coverage, leveraged the benefits of the social web and harmonised our disease delivery mechanisms going forward. Basically, if you haven’t had Anthpox, you’re gonna want it.”

While few actually understood what the two CEOs were talking about, fans have been clamouring to get their hands on the new disease, with many queuing up overnight to get their first shot. Those lucky ones who had been waiting all night were to receive a special “Anthpox” T-shirt, as well as branded syringes, plasters and eye patches.

Smallpox fan and general nobody Barry Wangler was stood in line for 36 hours, but claims it’s worth it, saying “I haven’t actually had Smallpox or Anthrax, but they’re kinda cool and I’m really interested in, like, stuff that does stuff, like, you know, make your eyes pop out or, like, kill you, you know.”

The disease is also the first of its kind to receive sponsorship, with rock band Hootie & The Blowfish penning the official Anthpox song, and Britney Spears set to appear in the TV advert alongside Barney the Dinosaur, with the catchphrase “Anthpox Rocks!”

“I’m getting it next week,” beamed a jubilant Spears. “I’m particularly looking forward to the second phase of the disease where you go all green and your limbs start to fall off. I’ve always loved the colour green.”