Bernard Matthews spoke out last night after claims were made that the turkeys’ vote for Christmas was rigged. “It was all done in an open and honest manner”, insisted Matthews.

A senior turkey, however, told the Daily Shame that the vote of 99.9% in favour of Christmas was “horribly skewed” and that turkeys are nowhere near as stupid as people – and Bernard Matthews – would have them believe.

“Where do you think we get that expression from – like turkeys voting for Christmas? We get it because not even the most stupid turkey would vote for Christmas. We’re neither religious nor dumb – in fact, some of us can hold a conversation for several minutes. Now find me an animal that can do that.”

“And now we’re given the chance of a referendum – to finally lay this thing to bed – and what happens? We turn around and find out that the vote was 99.9% in favour of Christmas.”

“I sense the hand of Bernard Matthews behind all this.”

Matthews, who organised the referendum, said that it was “legally binding” and that the turkey vote for Christmas was “bootiful”. He continued: “Look, I know turkeys better than anyone and they’re just dumb. They were clucking on about Christmas and how – for some reason – about 7 million of them just disappear around the start of December. Well I told them that if they wanted to vote on it, they could. And they did. In favour. Amazing.”

However, the senior turkey disputes the legality of the vote. “Mr Matthews took us into a booth and seemed to give us free rein as to whether we voted for Christmas, or against it. But I could see him putting pressure on certain turkeys as they entered the voting barn, and I’ll bet you anything he’s tampered with the votes.”

“I even heard him telling one turkey that she’d become a bag of turkey twizzlers if she didn’t vote for Christmas. He’s a scumbag.”