A Berkshire-based Satanist claims that he is being unfairly treated at work after being told he could neither wear his devil horns nor bring his trident into work. The man, who works as a check-in assistant at Heathrow airport, claims that he is being discriminated against.

“It’s lunacy”, exclaimed the devil worshipper Colin Hades-Smith. “Every where you go, you see people wearing crosses and burkas and wotnot, but I’m not allowed to come in to work wearing my Beelzebub horns, and I’m told to leave my trident at home. Everyone else is allowed to parade their religion and wear it on their sleeve – metaphorically – and just because I worship the Dark Lord, I’m being penalised.”

Customers at Heathrow had complained about Hades-Smith’s menacing appearance, saying that “they just plain didn’t feel comfortable being served by some guy wearing red face paint”. HR bosses decided to take action after they spotted him walking to work with a tail. However, to all extents and purposes, Colin Hades-Smith appears to act normally, joking cheerfully with colleagues and going to the pub for drinks after work. His attempts to invite colleagues to virgin-burning on the heath are usually met with a polite refusal, a slap on the back, and a “maybe next time”. Nobody has, as yet, followed up on the “maybe next time”, but Colin is still hopeful. He has even been voted “colleague of the month” five times by his peers.

Fellow check-in assistant Gary Yowzers says “Colin’s just one of the lads, really. Yeah, the menacing laughter worries a few people when they first meet him, but you have a few pints with him and realise he’s just an ordinary guy just like the rest of us. He plays darts, chases the girls, has a laugh. What he does in his spare time is none of our business.”

Hades-Smith added: “It’s PC gone mad. I’ve consulted all policy documents and there’s nothing that states it’s wrong to wear a tail. Carrying a trident, yes, perhaps I can see their point that from a Health & Safety viewpoint, it’s not wise, but the red face paint? What’s wrong with that?”

Satan himself was said to be “outraged” at the treatment of one of his minions, and told the Daily Shame that he would be “looking into wreaking some kind of wretched revenge” on the HR boss who instigated the ban. He added “God’s worshippers can do what they want, but mine are told to take off the red face paint and put cotton wool on the end of their tridents so they don’t prick anyone. No wonder people are clamouring to get into hell these days – it’s mad up there.”