God has shocked followers by declaring that he is considering a transfer to Buddhism. The Lord, whose contract with Christianity expired at the turn of the millenium, has been on a rolling contract with the religion ever since, and has been courted by other religions on a regular basis.

“It’s been a long time,” said the deity, “and perhaps Christianity needs a new CEO. Nothing’s set in stone as yet, but I’ve been approached by Buddhists to take on an advisory role within the religion. In my advancing years, this could be exactly the kind of work I should be doing. Nothing too strenuous, but well-paid and spiritually rewarding.”

“I always had a soft spot for the Buddhists”, he continued. “They’re mostly pretty quiet dudes, and I just love those saffron-coloured robes.”

Christians are worried that a vaccuum at the top of the religion could create in-fighting with ambitious Archangel Gabriel known to harbour dreams of one day running the show. Archbishop Nigel Wetsock told reporters that “God has done well by us Christians for many years – well, some of them – and having a new guy in charge will be tough for everyone. I mean, he’ll want to establish his own rules, get his own people in – I mean, where does this leave Jesus?”

Shytte-on-Sea’s local vicar Tony McRaypiste said that he would be “devastated” if God does leave, and would return to paganism: “It might be a good opportunity for a change. I mean, yes, I’d be devastated, but I’m running out of sermons here, and it’s ages since God even spoke to us, you know, properly. I’d advocate a return to the old ways, you know, pre-God.”

A number of key Christians have left the religion since the turn of the millenium. Saint Peter, who used to man the Pearly Gates, resigned at the earliest moment possible and joined Hinduism, where he maintains a low-key role as a secretary to Ganesha. “I was stuck out there every day,” said Peter, “and all those cut-backs meant that I had no staff to help me. So I’m hardly surprised that God is thinking of a switch – it’s a long time to be in any role. Now I’m in Ganesha’s office, I may have a lowly role but I get 25 days’ holiday a year and life’s really good fun – Ganesha’s always bounding around the office, bumping into things and having a laugh. Christianity used to be fun in the early days, but then it got all serious. Those Puritans pretty much took the life out of it. I’m much better off here.”

The most famous defection was John the Baptist, who abandoned Christianity for a little-known sect worshipping a man called “Guru Pete”. The sect, the Latter Day Peteists, believe that the earth is actually made of jelly and will be eaten by aliens from the planet Zarg unless everyone gives them beans.

A spokesman for Buddha said that they are “actively seeking” to get God on board, but only if he “sorts out this holy trinity thing” once and for all. “There’s a lot of confusion about whether Jesus is God, God is Jesus, and who’s the holy ghost? We’re looking to get God as soon as we can, but this holy trinity thing really does have to be resolved before we can talk contractuals.”