Cats have joined forces to encourage people to stop using the word “pussy” as it has negative connotations for the feline world.

“Actually, we’re quite tough”, said Mr Tiddles, spokesman for FUDGE, the Feline Understanding Democratic Group of Europe. “Calling us pussies all the time is having a real negative impact on our morale. We’re hard as nails, some of us, and if we had bigger paws, we’d box the crap out of you all. That’s why we’re launching our campaign today to promote feline understanding and encourage people not to use the word ‘pussy’ when referring to us.”

FUDGE has started to gain notoriety, partly as it is suspected to be the political wing of feline terrorist group CRAP, the Cat’s Righteous Action Party. Mr Tiddles denied any connection with the group, but has recently been seen supping milk from the same bowl as CRAP leader Percypoohs from no. 42.

“We have absolutely no links with CRAP”, he underlined. “Just because we sup at the same bowl, does not mean that we share the same views on maiming humans, dogs and other wild animals. FUDGE is a peaceful group dedicated to human-feline understanding. We just f-cking hate being called pussies, kittie-cats, cattywatties and other such stupid names while dogs get names like Fido, Killer and Brutus. Does that sound fair to you?”

CRAP leaders, however, have stated their aims that they will “scratch” to the death if they hear anyone calling them a pussy. Marxist guerilla cat “Ghengis”, pictured above, told reporters that “feline supremacy is all we ask for. That, and a bit of peace and quiet, some milk and decent food.

“By denigrating and belittling us all the time, humans are undermining our cause. I call upon all cats to leave furballs on pillows, to pooh on the edge of the cat litter tray, wee on plants and scratch anything that looks like it might get damaged. Only then will feline liberation be achieved.”

However, many cats are unmoved by FUDGE and CRAP’s latest stance. Snowball, who lives at no. 21, said he “could not be bothered” with all of this activist rubbish: “You know what, I’m a cat. Call me a pussy if you will, but at the end of the day, all I’m asking for is a place in the sun or a warm lap. I don’t need to go marching with placards or causing unnecessary distress to anyone.”