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The Daily Shame | April 20, 2014

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Catholics worried over Papal rapprochement with BNP

Senior Catholics have expressed concern over the Pope’s declared intention of meeting with BNP leader Nick Griffin for tea and cakes. The meeting, organised for next Sunday, will be a “full and frank exchange of views” between Pope Benedict and the leader of the British National Party, but many are already calling it a “big love-in”.

“Basically, it’s worrying,” said Donald Quincy, Archbishop of Little Belchwater. “On the one hand, here’s the Pope preaching about love and peace and all these hippy kind of things that keep the masses happy, and then he’s off meeting a man who allegedly eats babies and beats up grannies. Where do we draw the line?”

Other senior members of the clergy have been forced into gabbled apologies instead of sermons, telling their flocks that the Pope must be forgiven for his Hitler Jugend past and he is merely meeting the BNP leader because he has heard his home-baked cakes are “light, fluffy and 100% delicious”.

The Pope’s website, however, carries messages of rapprochement with the British National Party, saying that the Pope is “looking forward” to the meeting and that they share many views, from homosexuality and immigration right through to a shared love for chocolate digestives and British ale. Indeed, the Vatican webmaster has even created a special flash movie which shows the Pope and Nick Griffin dancing in a manly fashion with a selection of disco lights.

BNP henchman Vinnie “Ten Knuckles” McGraw declared that he was delighted that the Pope was coming round for tea, and continued: “We don’t do religion much, but when religion takes an interest in us, we’ll welcome it with open arms. I never voted for Benedict or anything, but I hear he’s into gay-bashing and getting rid of foreigners and feminists so he’s welcome round for a cuppa any time.”

Indeed, the Pope is set to begin his tour of the UK with a visit to a gay Soho nightclub. A spokesman for the Pontiff told the Daily Shame that he would be “having a dance and basically spreading the message of heterosexuality.”

Comments

  1. Don’t you Catholic’s worry about the Pope joining the BNP

    Because the EHRC won’t let us any new members at this moment in time

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