Senior terrorists have claimed that the worsening situation in Yemen is “making it really difficult to find cheap tickets”. Budget airlines are now hiking up their prices, meaning that the burgeoning terrorist industry is forced to seek other means of transport.

“Time was when you could get a Baghdad-Sana’a round trip for a handful of shekels” admitted the sock-bomber Mustafa al-Bomya Tubbitz. “Yes, you had to pay extra for your baggage, and there was a 5 rial charge for bomb-making equipment, but it was cheap, quick and easy. We’d go every other week if we could – Yemen’s great. Sun, sea, sand, terrorist action – you couldn’t really ask for more. Since the other week, though, prices have gone through the roof and none of us ordinary terrorists can afford the trip.”

Paradise Jets, who operated the route, say that their budget Yemen holiday for terrorists is “still the cheapest on the market”, and “offers great value for the sun-seeking Jihadist.” A spokesman for the company added “the war theatre is always expanding to include new exotic destinations. We’re looking to open up a route to Somalia very soon, and that will be a great budget getaway for your lower-paid terrorist who is looking for a place to blow things up.”

The airline has also extended its range of services in first class to include a “taste of paradise”, with virgin air hostesses and extra hand luggage allowance for those weapons that a passenger wants to keep a special eye on. “We don’t allow our passengers to blow themselves up on the plane”, added the spokesman, “but we do let them store their armoury in a safe, convenient place so that when they land, it will be in one piece.”

Al-Qaeda say that they are hoping to tie up a deal with Paradise Jets that would see prices lowered significantly when flights are booked at least three months in advance, but it appears that in the meantime, terrorists are grounded. “Yemen has become a real hotspot for terrorist tourists, with plenty of luxury caves along the south coast. It’s such a shame that prices have gone up so much, and nobody really wants to spend their jihad in Somalia”, said Al-Qaeda’s Head of Personnel and former “Glove Bomber”, Farid Al-Sackya. “It’s very important that these routes open up, not just for terrorist tourism, but for business too. We can’t all afford the first class travel, and we can’t afford to wait for the next Yemeni Ryanair to come along.”