Vladimir Putin “Too much truth here. Kill the journalist.”
Sarah PALIN “Do I come here for the truth? You betcha!”
Tearaway website Mumsnet has declared independence from the rest of the Internet. In a move that is bound to shock the rest of the web, the renegade site for mothers has published a statement saying that “everyone else can go suck themselves”.
Gordon Brown has promised to sacrifice former Defence Secretary Geoff Hoon on Hampstead Heath if the Labour government wins re-election in the forthcoming general election. Hoon, who is reportedly “uneasy” with the plans, will be sacrificed on the summer solstice, with a paying audience selected by ballot.
Scientists at the Stuttgart Institute of Internet Disease Related Research (SIIDRR) have discovered that people who tweet up to five times a day on social networking site Twitter are less likely to get cancer than those who tweet only once, or not at all.
The dish: cold. The service: rude. The place: the Cafe des Connards, on the famed rue des Merdes in Paris, which claims to be the restaurant with the rudest waiters on earth, and le garcon has just told me to shit myself a new head.
Sir John Chilcot is facing damning criticism after it was revealed that he plans to release a book, a DVD, a play and a HBO TV series of the Chilcot Inquiry even before it has ended. He has received further accusations that the Inquiry itself is being made “more dramatic than it needs to be”.
More English refugees have been found in deplorable conditions trying to enter Spain. Seventeen early retirees were discovered by Spanish border patrols in the hold of a cargo ship.
Residents of the Norfolk village of Shytte are today in mourning after the shock death of their snowman, Stephen. The snowman, age 7 days, was found in a state of thaw with his head detached from his body.
Parts of the internet are today under heavy snow with webmasters warning of treacherous conditions for web surfers. Some sites find themselves completely closed off to the public and web geeks have been reporting slippery html code.
It’s January 13th, and Germans are recovering from their traditional day of revelry and humour, “National Let Your Hair Down Day”. All over the country, hangovers are being treated and faces are reddened with embarassment as people realise the extent to which they have gone to have fun.
Frustrated Indian customers are beginning to vent their fury over the continuing trend to outsource to UK call centres. Bank of India customers have been among the most vociferous, claiming that customer service has been shunted aside for “profit, cost-cutting and greedy outsourcing”.
Daily Star Blames Muslims For Rain
Latest Al Qaeda recruitment video “basically a Justin Bieber video” say experts
Gadaffi restores Libya internet access to check comparethemercenary.com
BBC Asian Network “not doing enough to attract white, middle class listeners”
Wikileaks urged not to publish plot to Cats and Dogs 3: Feline Good
UK economy losing billions due to time lost by employees “pausing for effect”
France grinds to a halt as nation asked to work until 5:05pm
