The Advertising standards agency has slammed Marks and Spencer after it was revealed that their new Christmas adverts contain subliminal messages encouraging consumers to eat more trans fats, and in one shocking scenario, worship the devil.

“It’s absolutely disgraceful” said Hugo Whipping-Horse, a spokesman for the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA). “We were ourselves reviewing the adverts when we found ourselves irrationally wanting to stuff ourselves with ready meals that contained 60% of our daily salt and fat intake. My colleague just ate three packs of mince pies and has doubled his body weight in just an hour. We felt compelled to look into it.”

In just one frame of the advert, Stephen Fry can be seen stuffing his face with a scotch egg that contained four times the fat usually found in a large goose. However, the most horrifying scene comes when Joanna Lumley, played backwards, demands viewers to worship “the dark Lord Satan” and to “burn virgins on the heath tonight”.

“I thought there was a problem,”, added Whipping-Horse, “when I suddenly started lighting matches after the third viewing. That’s why we played it backwards and you hear Lumley telling us to bow down to Beelzebub. At one point, you can even see her eyes flash red. But only if you watch it backwards.”