You can always trust BBC3 to come up with something new and innovative, and that’s exactly what they’ve done with Shitwatch, hosted by Bill Oddie and Melinda Messenger. Last night’s startling episode followed a family of 5 whose defecation rituals were an absolute hoot.

“I can’t believe he’s going again” screamed an obviously delighted Oddie. “This is the third time today, and I reckon he’s going solid. Let’s get on BogCam to see.”

Melinda Messenger is clearly on there to appear squeamish, but at one stage she definitely appeared to be loosening up – just as the father of three appeared to be firming up! Shitwatch is great telly – just what BBC3 excels at. The “pooh of the day” feature at the end is what really ties it all together, and news that they will be doing a special Celebrity Shitwatch at Christmas is a boon to all those who follow this brilliant show.

Less interesting was ITV’s attempt to hook on to the BBC hospital drama bandwagon with their rather niche offering, The Osteoporosis Department. The drama follows, interestingly enough, an osteoporosis department at a fictional hospital set somewhere in Middlesex, probably. Hunky doctor Ben looks completely out of place advising pensioners on how to avoid falls, and his on-off affair with Nurse Julie is becoming tedious already. However, last night’s dramatic opening with three OAPs falling over in the space of two minutes had me on the edge of my seat.

Channel 4’s brilliant Ideology Swap gets better by the day. Last night, communist card-holder Leon was thrust into the racy, hectic banking world, and ended up being strapped to a chair and pelted with wads of cash. I laughed so hard a little pee came out. As he struggled to convince the bankers that jobs for all and social welfare were an essential cornerstone of a happy society, the real laughs were coming from banker Quentin, whose third week in an East London squat was beginning to take its toll.

“Maybe they’re right”, said a visibly shaken Quentin. “Maybe I’m wrong and Daddy is wrong.”

Quentin’s challenge was to protest outside the Bank of England with a banner that proclaimed “Corn for all – feed the workers”. However, after 15 minutes, he cracked, and ran into the nearest Starbucks. Brilliant TV.