Leading banks have been rapped by the government after it was revealed that they were cashing in with new charges on their customers.

Rupert Quornbread, the government’s banking Tsar, said that the banks were “taking liberties” with their customers’ earnings by hitting them with charges that were “bang out of order”.

One leading bank has started charging its customers £1.50 for every branch visit. Each time a customer steps into the bank and talks to a clerk, £1.50 is debited from their account. The same bank has also levied a £10 charge for “people with ginger hair”, although the government did not believe this was much of a problem.

Another bank, in a vain attempt to recoup the billion pound losses brought about by their CEO’s bonus, is charging its customers 10p per word uttered by its “customer relationship executives”. They have been accused of being far too loquacious, and there are accusations that they have been taking lessons on how to get the most out of their sentences.

“I was charged £13 for a mere conversation”, said one customer. “Add to that the £5 they are now charging for every month I’m in credit, and you can understand why I’m a little bit annoyed!”

However, the worst offender, another leading high street bank, has been accused of outright thievery by some of its customers. One woman, who was visibly shocked, said “they took my wallet, took out a fiver and said ‘that’ll do’… I asked what for, and they said they’ll work it out later.”

Quornbread said that the government will come down hard on banks who are applying over-zealous charges, adding: “we will crack down on them, absolutely, yes. We are already setting up an internal inquiry and it is highly likely we’ll advise the banks not to be so naughty.”